Why I No Longer Travel Solo is post dedicated on embracing how my way of wandering around has changed with time. I used to enjoy traveling solo and it caused no stress while now it takes out all the energy in me: physically and mentally.
Why I No Longer Travel Solo
Lago di Garda + Ferrara, Italy
The Before Part
I was one of those girls with no trouble in preparing a suitcase and go explore the world by herself. In fact, my first ever trip was an exchange program during university which took me directly to the USA. Yes, I always break the ice with a smash and I remember how the first two days of settleing were a little hard but that is all. I then spent four amazing months in Vermont, Middlebury.
Two years after I prepared my suitcase again and moved to Brighton, UK. During this time I think I caught flights every months and it slowly started getting on me. But now it is a completely different story.
My Trip to Berlin
Now, it’s a completely different story. I remember last year when I went last to Brighton for a weekend visiting a friend, how awful it was but I was sick and feverish almost the entire time.
This weekend instead was more of a surprise. I was supposed to visit a US friend who was staying in Berlin last so I jumped on a flight and went there. It wasn’t all roses and violets.
How Traveling Solo Gives Me Anxiety
I have found out that I do some things to avoid feeling anxious like:
No matter this, especially when I am by myself, I find that traveling solo requires all my efforts. Anyway the story of this weekend was that I had to meet up with a friend there. Perfect, at least I would had a familiar face around. In reality, this was only for the first day and partly. Even when we were together or spending time with other friends, I felt completely by myself.
This was the first time ever that I have felt like a friendship after years may change. People change, have new interests and they might no longer have interest in you. I hate this, but I am aware it may happen, just I never thought it could happen with this friend of mine. So not having a solid friend in a new big city started hitting me. It was exhausting moving from one part of town to another. I was maybe too emotional but I didn’t want to hang around by myself all the time.
Thankfully the next day we were supposed to meet up. This never happened. Because of thousands excuses, so I walked all day by myself, I have given directions to strangers a few times but I didn’t enjoyed one single moment. I couldn’t share it with anyone: I am Italian, I need to speak with someone.
This is Why I Will No Longer Travel Solo
Traveling solo makes me physically tired so quickly, I walked 10km which felt like 30. Crowded places then calms me down since no one really care but at the same time, seeing group of friends enjoying their time makes me lonely. Above all, is how traveling solo works mentally on me. This is the biggest catch: it makes me feel like I am not strong enough.
But it not like this, just I cannot do it anymore. Once I didn’t mind traveling by myself, nowadays because of my bad experiences, I prefer traveling with somebody else. My mind makes me feel inadequate and weak when rationally I shouldn’t push myself that much if it is something it makes me feel miserable. I honestly blame anxiety, but I don’t know if this that, shyness or my inner pride.
In any case, I am trying to accept how traveling solo is no longer for me and for now, there is no way I am coming back traveling by myself. #sorrynotsorry
Let me know if you ever experienced that or if you still enjoy traveling by yourself.